Tuesday, 13 May 2008

Eye Have Amnesia

When I looked in my diary this morning, I set my phone alarm for 3.10pm, to make sure I didn't forget my 3.15pm appointment at my new opticians. I did of course forget, but my forward-thinking alarm-setting got me there safely.

In another uncharacteristic display of forward-thinking, and knowing that I would never remember the type of contact lenses I wear, I had put an old contact lens packet in my bag to show to my new optician. "I wear these", I declared, thrusting the packet towards her. "They're soft monthly disposables".

"Great", she smiled, peering at the small print through her specs, "only you're supposed to change this kind every 2 weeks". I made that face where you frown, look sideways and bring one index finger up to lips tightly pursed in thought. Hmmm. Apparently I used to have monthly disposables, at some point changed to fortnightlies, and then forgot all about it and carried on wearing each pair for 4 weeks. Der. No wonder I had sore eyes.

Excuses made, we got on with the tests and eye-related paperwork. Then it was time to put my glasses on. "How long have you had these glasses?" she asked with no warning, catching me off-guard. "Oh about 3 or 4 years" I blurted, in a panic. "Actually no, I was still in London, so it might have been 10 years. Actually, I have no idea". And I still have no idea - I've completely forgotten.

To make my eye-test amnesia ordeal even worse, the optician must have forgotten to brush her teeth today. Or perhaps she forgot that if your job involves putting your face 8 inches away from someone else's face and breathing on them whilst wielding bright lights and optic cameras, then it's best not to eat smelly food for lunch.

So anyway I left, got in my car, made sure I remembered where I lived, and turned the engine on. My phone rang. It was the optician. "Oh hhhhhello", she breathed (luckily it wasn't a smellephone) "you've forgotten your glasses case, will you come back for it?" I didn't go back straight away, but I've put it in my diary so I'll remember to go tomorrow. If I remember to look in my diary.

p.s. Today I was given a home-made (and therefore extra tasty and nutritious) award by Dumdad ... how utterly girlish of me to grin and blush so ... it made my day!


  1. you know, i've gotten to the point where i have to have several items remind me of things i need to do for the day, week, month, year, etc. i get the occasional brain fog thanks to hypothyroidism. i don't work, but i could NOT live without my pda. it serves as my 'memory' lol

    as for the 'dummy', you so deserve it! congrats! i've only been a reader of yours for a short time, but i've enjoyed all your posts. :)

  2. I can remember nothing, um, what was I saying?

  3. Hi, I came via dumdad. Mmmm maybe I'll rephrase that. Congrats on your award, I got one too! I liked your post and would like to visit again when my OH is in the YUK. He says I spend too much time on the computer. Debs (aka Pud) x

  4. Oh yeah, there is nothing worse than an optician with bad breath, except maybe an optician with bad breath and body odor.

  5. So, did you need different strength eyeglasses and contacts? Have your eyes gotten worse or did they stay the same?

    I like the new look of your blog. How did you manage that? Did you do it on your own?

    Congratulations on the dumdad award. I have one too on my old blog. I can't take it with me, but it will be there forever. I have been told not to delete my old blog, so I suppose I won't.

    It's good to see you back here again. You've been missed.

  6. Hi GBS, thanks for visiting mine. If it makes you feel better, I've had my glasses for almost a year, and sometimes I spend a day wondering why I'm squinting at the computer screen, entirely forgetting that I've even been given glasses.

    Your smellephone horror made me howl...

  7. This post cracked me up. The smellephone part especially. LOL. My eye doctor is always stinky and kind of creepy too. I only see him once every few years, otherwise I'd find a new one. Oh wait, and I'm too lazy to find a new one. Plus I keep telling myself the next one might be smelly, creepy and touchy-feely. Better the devil you know...

  8. This post cracked me up too!
    Yes... opticians do invade personal space, don't they? I wonder how they feel about their patients who must also suffer from bad breath! I am not suggesting yours is! No don't think that!!!! But out of all the people she has to get close to, some might not be very nice at all! Maybe she tanks up on spicy food to combat the odours from other people!

  9. opticians and dentist, although the latter tend to wear face masks - doesn't everyone clean their teeth before going to see either professionals?

  10. Out Of Africa, and Pulp Fiction? You're on my list too! As soon as he's gone to the YUK. Debs x

  11. My optician texts to remind you about your appointments now. However, I did pick up my new glasses last year and come home before I realised I hadn't actually paid for them. Good amnesia I think!

  12. Congrats on the award!
    And don't worry about the amnesia. Soon you will forget you have forgotten so there will be no stress.

    Aaaaah. Bliss.
    [Or is that "Bless"?]

  13. Thanks to my MS I have the most awful memory, and it wasn't great before I got sick, so we have all sorts of memory joggers in place. My computer pings to remind me of all my pills, and everything that needs doing goes into the diary (which the carers then check - saves me missing it!).

    The optician experience sounds dreadful, but is a good reminder that I am probably due to go again soon!

  14. well when i tried to take an eye test all the blasted man did was flirt with the small cross one ...