Sunday, 8 February 2009

Opium for the Wounded

A woman knocked me out, and a man sliced me open like a fish.

I had an operation on Thursday, stayed 3 nights in hospital, and now I'm home in bed. Nothing too serious, don't worry, but I have to rest up and take it easy for 6 weeks!

When I awoke, after the surgical deed was done, I was fuzzy and muzzy and floppy. They checked me and fed me, and I nodded off with a piece of tomato in my mouth. Like a baby I lay helpless, as strangers soothed me with words and fiddled with wires and tubes. I knew I had to trust them. I knew I had to lie on my back and not move. I knew I had a button to press which beeped and released morphine on demand.

I drifted in and out of sleep, waking and beeping as I sailed on a wierd and colourful morphine-filled voyage that night. I dreamt I was at home, that my children had grown up, I was chopping onions, I was chasing bees, I was a pirate, I was putting papers in the fridge, I was Brad and Angelina's nanny. In my dream, Brangelina lived in a small house with their 6 children, one of whom was my nephew. I suggested boxing up some of Angie's designer dresses that were lying around the spare room still in their wrappers, and giving them to a charity shop. "Good idea", said Brad, as he mowed the lawn.

Sadly, they don't give you morphine for long.
Posted by at

18 comments:

  1. Nicky8 February 2009 at 18:30

    I didn't have any when I had my op on Thursday! I wish I had, it sounds marvellous....lol

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dumdad8 February 2009 at 19:16

    Get well soon. Pleasant dreams!

    ReplyDelete
  3. nappy valley girl8 February 2009 at 19:22

    Get well soon.

    I had morphine after my C section with Littleboy 2. It was so nice and took the pain away that I requested more - and promptly felt violently sick.......one of the side effects, it seems. So, I could never be a real drug addict.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Expat mum8 February 2009 at 21:46

    Blimey - when I had my last c-section they gave me Tylenol, which is about as much use as Junior aspirin. I'm coming back to England if I ever have to have an op. Hope you have a speedy recovery and Do rest up.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Maggie May8 February 2009 at 22:23

    OOHH! Hope you are soon OK. Sounds like you have been away with the fairies for a bit but you should come crashing back to earth very soon!
    Can't remember them giving anything like that to me after a hysterectomy!

    ReplyDelete
  6. ADDY8 February 2009 at 23:23

    Hope you are better soon. I had morphine after my hysterectomy. It was W-O-N-D-E-R-F-U-L, but they would only give it to me for the first day. After that I had to make do with gripping my hands!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Tiffany Norris9 February 2009 at 15:15

    Glad you're doing OK!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Daryl9 February 2009 at 20:09

    Glad to hear they didnt wrap you in day old newspaper and toss you in the trash like other gutted fishes .. rest up ...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Working Mum9 February 2009 at 21:04

    Ah, love that morphine. Hope you are better soon.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Daryl9 February 2009 at 21:17

    muaaaaaaaaaaaah!

    ReplyDelete
  11. cheshire wife9 February 2009 at 21:18

    Hope that you will soon be back on your feet again. I had pethidine the last time I had a minor op. and I don't remember it giving me multi- coloured celeb dreams.

    ReplyDelete
  12. family affairs9 February 2009 at 21:25

    Glad you're back home safely - good that blogging is something you can do without exerting too much force on any new wounds.....ah, sweet about your child wanting some more of you time too Lx

    ReplyDelete
  13. Housewifeinthehighlands11 February 2009 at 16:48

    Get well soon GBS. You bring back the sweet memories of morphine easing the pain and sending me into la-la land during two long and difficult labours. Isn't it wonderful?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Sandi McBride15 February 2009 at 15:08

    While I am hoping you a very Speedy and Complete recovery, I hope you'll retain your memory of the fantastic opiate imspired dreams! Now, concentrate on healing and getting well, we will be, too!
    hugs
    Sandi

    ReplyDelete
  15. Reasons15 February 2009 at 17:21

    Sounds wild man! My daughter just had morphine after an appendectomy then they put her on a too-low dose of paracetamol, she lay in agony for a day until the surgeon came and pointed out to the nurse that she was 15, not 5. Rest up, you need to be gentle with yourself when you've been through all that pain.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Sandi McBride18 February 2009 at 15:49

    Congrats on the Post of the Day mention from David! Now that's bound to make you well!
    hugs
    Sandi

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous18 February 2009 at 16:12

    Here from David's POTD for which congratulations.

    I just love that Morphia induced feeling, wonder if it is what the addicts feel after a fix.

    Get well soon.

    Veri. word is : dedopi...honestly.

    ReplyDelete
  18. ® ♫ The Brit ♪ ®23 February 2009 at 22:08

    Hope you're o.k. GBS!
    I loved your morphine trip! Although I daresay those Hollywood type celebrities all live in a kind of morphine-induced haze with their crazy lives!
    I wouldn't mind being Brangelina's nanny or assistant though... maybe you could put in a word for me?! ;)
    Get Well Soon Dear Friend!
    XX

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)