I can't sleep because every time I lie down I start coughing. Sitting up helps the cough, but not the sleep. I spent Christmas night on the sofa so Big G could sweat out his flu fever in delirious solitude.
So I went to the chemist today and asked for some medicine that would suppress my cough at night.
"Is it chesty or tickly?" asked the pharmacist.
"Chesty", I wheezed.
"Sorry, no, we've only got tickly", she said firmly, with a sidelong glance at a large shelf groaning under the weight of at least 30 different types of cough medicine.
"But I bought Benylin for chesty coughs", I explained, coughing, "but it just loosens everything up and makes you cough more. I want something that stops me coughing at night".
"Well, I don't know ... if it's chesty ..."
"What about that one?" I blurted, pointing at a serious looking bottle labelled NIGHT-TIME COUGH SUPPRESSANT MEDICINE.
The pharmacist frowned. "Hmmm, well it won't cure the cause of the cough, it'll just stop you coughing".
"I'll take it", I said.